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(actually Part 1 — see Star Wars episodes for explanation) I forgot to mention the excellent time I had in Toronto when going through security. Apparently, they do things a bit differently as compared to our American airport security standards. The guard at the entrance to the x-ray scanning area was getting tired of my… Continue reading Grey Bird’s Trip: Part 2

Day One: Toronto. God, these Canadians are polite. Must be the lithium they put in the beer. On the Toronto to Stuttgart flight, they tried to indoctrinate us in Canadian ways. For breakfast we were served poutine, those little sugary candies shaped like maple leaves, and beer. No coffee, just beer. No water, just beer.… Continue reading Grey Bird’s Trip: as dictated by the Bird herself

I’ve been super busy tying up Mel the last minute details for my trip. I leave tomorrow before noon. As you already know, I’ve given virtual house keys to Karen and Chari, two of the funniest women in blogland. They were so excited they couldn’t even wait until I was gone to start posting parodies… Continue reading Nearly Gone

Haben Sie einen gr�sseren Zerhacker f�r Miete? Do you have a bigger vibrator for rent? Dieses leiderhosen bilden meinen Kolbenblick breit? Does this leiderhosen make my butt look wide? Mein knackwurst l�uft aus. My knackwurst is leaking. Hey Heidi- �berhaupt getan ihm mit einer amerikanischen Millionairefrau? Hey Heidi- ever done it with an American millionaire… Continue reading Useful German Phrases

So, I was busy with my new, schnazzy German dictionary, learning phrases like “is that schnitzel, or are you just happy to see me?” or “when I think about kraut, I touch myself”. When I realized that Grey Bird (the actual bird itself) had been out of his condo-cage all night long…. Normally, this isn’t… Continue reading Is that schnitzel, or are you just happy to see me?